This time next week it will all be over. The social event of the year will once again be a memory, filing itself in my little neurons, in my little brain. Last year’s social event of the year has been filed in a similar way to the Plans for the Hyperspace Bypass that destroyed the earth in Douglas Adam’s Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, so as never to resurface again. Just thinking about it brings me out in a cold sweat.

Next Tuesday evening is our annual Christmas meal. Please not another rendition of last year’s Slade impression (the memory is leaking out, need to change the subject).

There has been no record of polonium-210 being found in Milton Keynes so far. Tests have been carried out by MK council at the Starbucks in Midsummer Place. But after extensive downing of Mocha, Cappu and Stone Chinos, no trace of the radioactive substance that killed Alexander Litvinenko* has been found.

*Interesting that not many blogs contain the former Russian spy’s name. Too hard to spell is my personal view – but it doesn’t take too much trawling to find it at the BBC.