What was your last twitter update? What was your last tumblr post? What was the last image you uploaded to 500px? Was it really you?
Photoshopped?
The big issue with the human condition is that we are fundamental liars. It is something to do with the instinct to survive if you are of the Darwinian nature or just plain bloody-mindedness if you’re not.
‘How are you?’
It’s a question we all face from time to time, often when meeting someone who we haven’t seen for a while. The phrase has become a phony greeting across the world. ‘I’m fine.’ I have heard a couple of people who add, ‘no, how are you really?’ and sometimes, but not always, that may solicit a different response.
So what has this to do with social media? Well the issue is that our status update, image or comment isn’t always honest. This may well be a British thing, the stiff upper lip and so on. However, I think it is a wider issue, especially when you look at what people are sharing.
Back to the Darwinian issue. I will survive. No we’re not in a bad 70s disco song. The thing is we don’t want to admit that we have failed… or we can’t cope… or things have actually been a bit rubbish recently (that last phrase was edited to protect the innocent).
Please, please, please… let’s take this chance to be honest and authentic. I have heard that some people have felt a little uneasy about couples sharing their relationship situation on Facebook or similar, when it breaks down or it’s going through a sticky patch. Yes, it is uneasy reading, but it does let us, their friends know what is going on. And Facebook, google+ and diaspora allow us to filter who actually reads what we post anyway, so the whole world doesn’t need to know.
Thou shalt not lie and love they neighbour
I come from particular religious tradition that believe in the power of prayer and that we should help one another. If we don’t know how people are really feeling or how their lives are going, then we can’t help one another.
There are issues with sharing online but the one or two trolls, gossips and the odd potential future employer should not prevent us from being open and truthful. It is difficult because it means dropping the mask, baring all and showing that we are not perfect.
In conclusion, my life isn’t as interesting as my status updates possibly suggest. My life is just like yours, rough around the edges and not neatly aligned.
I hope I don’t hide behind my social mask.
Oh, and how are you?
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Darren,
I like where you took this! I think one of the reasons I’ve felt myself holding back on facebook particularly is because I didn’t maintain a strict policy of keeping the “friends” list small. I do “know” everyone on that list, but now that my world’s have collided (I wrote a post for Big Bible about world’s colliding in social media) I do struggle with “checking safe” alot – especially as I’m thinking about a new job soon and I don’t want this period of illness I’m dealing with to in anyway stick in the minds of potential employers, some of whom I know, who are on my list of friends. Maybe the challenge your post gives me is that in order to be more transparent I actually need to be more selective! After all, we don’t spill our guts to everyone we come across, there is an earned trust in relationship! In saying that, my post today is called “Life: Unmasked” and it’s part of a wider community project – you might find this project of interest to yourself!
Twitter: darrenrhill
says:
Yes, I think being selective is the key, and it’s not surprising that both google+ and facebook have now copied the selective posts idea from diaspora