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Creativity

imposter syndrome reasons to procrastinate No 157

Reasons to procrastinate No 157 - imposter syndrome

I journal. I do a mixture of morning pages, planning and general thought dumps. I write to myself. Okay, I talk to myself too but this is a little more structured. I have recently been having a discussion with myself about ‘voice’ and the broader issue around identity. It is possible both are linked and solving one might help with the other, or vice versa.

I feel like I don’t have a voice. Or, I am unsure as to what my voice is. I don’t like genres and classification for a start, which might be part of the problem. But the problem is, worrying about my ‘voice’ stops me from creating. Which then enables me to fall into the imposter syndrome. No authentic voice? Then you must be a fake. And I sit and procrastinate.

Yet one of my musical heroes is Bowie. The eternal voice changer… the ultimate imposter? Glam rocker, space minstrel, ambient wanderer… one singer, many voices.

So I turned myself to face me
But I’ve never caught a glimpse
How the others must see the faker
I’m much too fast to take that test

Changes by David Bowie

Yes, but that’s music and music Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, what about writing? I want to write in different styles and genres.

One of my favourite authors is Iain M Banks. His creativity pushed the boundaries of contemporary sci-fi. And yet he also wrote other books. He dropped the M when he wrote them. Some of his non-sci-fi books are also amongst my favourites. One author, multiple voices.

There is no reason I can’t create in different styles with different voices. I just have to be me. Me, expressed in different ways. Channel creativity. Creation then takes its form. Form follows unction.

Whether what I create is any good is subjective, and don’t get me started on quality and perfection… that is another reason for my procrastination and an altogether different blog post.


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namaste
d
xox

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Categories
Writing

What The Last Emperox by John Scalzi told me about creativity

The Last Emperox by John Scalzi
A book review

Creativity flows throughout the universe. To be creative we merely need to step into the flow and create. The flow is elusive, but it is there. Sometimes it is hard to find, other times it is clear. Creativity takes us from one place to another.

The Last Emperox is the final part of the Interdependency trilogy by John Scalzi. The story involves humanity connected by a series of flow streams that allow travel between distant star systems. Unfortunately, and this is the nub of the trilogy, these streams are breaking. Each planetary system relies on trade with others. In fact, only one system has a habitable planet. Therefore, breakdown means slow death for all but those who can get to The End – the name of the habitable system.

“People starving is not the point?” asked Tiegan. Deran pointed. “Close. People starving is not the point. People who are afraid of starving is.”

The Interdependency series
(affiliate links)
The Last Emperox (Book three)
The Collapsing Empire (Book one)
There Consuming Fire (Book two)

The solution for some is simple:

“So your plan is spaceships for some, and riot control for the rest,”

But for our main protagonists, they want to save as many as possible. This creates a battle between dynasties, science and business. And provides the story arc for the three books.

“It’s the end of civilization as we know it. And it’s going to be great for business.”

John Scalzi’s writing is, as always, quick-witted, engaging and full of surprises. The final instalment hurtles as fast as the ships through the flow streams. It has plenty of shocks along the way and reaches a satisfying conclusion. Like all good science fiction ‘world’ building it also provides space for spin offs, prequels and sequels. An enjoyable piece of space opera.

I found out that the second book in the series was written quickly. The author admitted this, but unless you are Douglas Adams it seems deadlines have to be met. I felt that the second book was a little rushed. If you’ve read it, I’d be interested to know if you felt the same? That isn’t to say that I didn’t enjoy it, but it could have been polished a little bit more IMHO.

There is some social commentary throughout the series. Dealing with an impending crisis is the same whether it is on a universal or global scale. This gives plenty of scope for the author to explore the reactions of the rich, the greedy and the altruists… and I hasten to add that those are not exclusive terms for our characters.

But at the end of it, everyone assumed that something or someone would come along to save the civilization that they lived in and could not conceive of actually disappearing.

And so I come back to the beginning. Creativity. You can study being creative. There are umpteen courses on how to be creative. The Internet is full of videos and tutorials on creating this and that. I’ve even made some myself. I see a similarity between the flow streams and the creative streams that I believe exist. The universe of the flow streams reminded me of how I can catch a glimpse of an idea…

Which is when Marce’s conscious mind intruded into his dream. I’ve seen this before, it said. Where have I seen this before?

… yet to try and truly understand creativity is beyond me. I turn to metaphor and analogy. I find it in other stories, other universes and other characters. But…

One could anthropomorphize the Flow all one wanted, but the Flow would not agree or consent to it. It was literally alien to this universe.

Creativity is. I am creative. You are creative. Nature is creative. We live in a universe that creates. Creativity is flowing all around.

I believe in the muse. The muse exists. When we get together something happens.

They both came away from the meeting feeling like they had manipulated the other precisely, which meant it was a good meeting.

I’m not sure how it happens and, to be honest, I don’t really want to know. Creativity is a gift and while that gift keeps giving, I am happy.

The current world crisis, Coronavirus, that interrupted the previous world crisis, climate change/pollution/excess, has enabled us to think about how we live. How we act in a crisis is a choice each of us makes. With that in mind, here’s the last quote from the book. A book (series) that I enjoyed and recommend.

Proster spread his hands wide. “These are the times we live in, Archbishop.”
“We make the times we live in, Proster.”


Thank you for reading this post. Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
namaste
d
xox

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Categories
Music

Lockdown Beltane Mixtape

I made a mixtape of songs that have been bouncing between my ears recently. They all have a vague link, in my head, with the current lockdown and Beltane, which has just passed. It’s just under 40 minutes long, so if you want to have a musical meander for a bit, scroll down.

The mixtape starts with wanting to be somewhere else and in love, onto trying to sort out life, via a dose of immortality and then getting a bit hippie and new age with Marc Bolan. To balance things out, for those who are not new age, it ends with a little witch burning. I like to please everyone. (Actually, please don’t burn witches, it’s not big or clever. Don’t bow to Hansel and Gretel’s peer pressure.*)

*Actually, Gretel pushed the old woman into an oven so technically it wasn’t a witch-burning as such. However, unless someone came and let the old lady out she would have burnt like anything left in an oven for too long.

Apart from that, and just like a FaceBook meme, I’m not going to say anything about the individual tracks. They are simply tracks that are hanging out with me at the current moment.

You can listen to the Lockdown Beltane Mixtape on

Apple Music

or Spotify

Or watch the individual videos of the tracks below…

Heavenly

Cigarettes After Sex

Congregation

Low

Or a version using footage from Devs

Fixture Picture

Aldous Harding

Diary

Weyes Blood

Exhibition

Gary Numan

Immortals

Jean-Michel Jarre & F&%k Buttons

Ride a White Swan

T. Rex

Burn the Witch

Radiohead

I hope you enjoyed the Lockdown Beltane Mixtape, and remember mixtapes are not just for lockdown but for the whole year x

Original tape image by Bruno /Germany from Pixabay


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namaste
d
xox

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Categories
Music

Proto music

I have moments of lucidity. These moments concern all sorts of things. I once had one such moment concerning this blog. In it, I thought of writing posts that related to the day. Saturday could be about stationery, Sunday spirituality and so on. Monday was to be about music.

Lucidity doesn’t last for long. Plans for this blog don’t tend to last long either. However, I find myself here on a Monday about to talk about music. In particular, some music that I have written and have recorded.

This afternoon I have been mixing and putting some final touches to three new pieces. They will be part of an EP that I’ll soon be sharing. All three tracks are inspired and influenced by three artists who I loved as a young teen… and still enjoy listening to today. John Foxx, Thomas Dolby and Gary Numan are the inspiration. Originally I had planned to record a collection of ten or more tracks. However, that moment of lucidity disappeared as well.

The EP will be called Protomatic Renaissance and all being well will be on all the major streaming platforms. I’ll let you have a sneak peek, or listen, in the next few days but didn’t want to miss the opportunity of actually sharing something on Music Monday.

As long as my lucid moments continue I’ll be sharing what I am creating here with a little more regularity than I have been. But that’s the problem with lucidity, it comes and goes… just like the creative muse.


Thank you for reading this post. Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
namaste
d
xox

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Categories
Lifestream

Hello, my name is Darren

Welcome to my website. I am Darren, the creative minimalist. I have archived the previous iteration of this site.


Thank you for reading this post. Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
namaste
d
xox

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